What I’m Riding . . . Rune Thursday

So I went back into the archives and selected another question from Jessica, At what age am I going to be satisfied with myself?  Like we need a Rune to answer this one.  How about never?  We all go through periods of being quite satisfied with ourselves, but to live in a state of it?  Nah.  Not gonna happen.  But I think the question, more loosely translated, might be, When will I stop beating myself up?  When will I just say, where you are is good, keep striving, instead of, this sucks, get out of here.  But the Runes are all about self awareness and self acceptance, and much more wiser than I, so I will let them answer Jessica.  The question as I will pose it for her:  When will I accept me?  Jess, your Rune is Gebo, the Rune of Partnership.

Drawing this Rune means that a partnership of some form is on the horizon.  Go easily into that partnership; only two whole people can make a solid partnership.  Keep in mind there are only two partnerships that bring you closest to your most complete self, and that is the one you have with you, and the one you have with God.

So see, what they have been telling us all along is true:  you will value yourself when a man does, or when you die.  Just kidding.  I could loosely translate and say when you believe someone else finds you worthy of love, you may start to believe it.  Or you simply decide to love you and who cares what anyone else thinks.  I’ll share this:

I saw a therapist once and during the course of conversation we were discussing my weight and how it seems to go up and down depending on whether or not I have a man in my life.  I said to her (something like), “I get really thin and healthy to impress the man, but then once he’s mine I gain weight again.  I think I’m trying to push him away when I get too close, use the fat as an excuse for him to leave me.”  She debunked this in a way that changed my thinking forever and actually made me cry.  She told me to look back on my life, when I was most happiest, when I was taking care of myself.  Yes, I said, it was when I had a man.  She said, no; it was when you felt loved.  You took care of yourself when you felt loved. 

Now there’s the answer.


About whatimriding

Born and raised in Philly, I spent several years in Las Vegas, working at the House of Blues and writing about the city. I now reside in Tampa, where I continue to work on novels, scripts and short stories and tearfully await former Lightning forward Vincent Lecavalier's return to the bay area.
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2 Responses to What I’m Riding . . . Rune Thursday

  1. Jessica says:

    That actually…touched me. And that’s rare anymore.

  2. Billy says:

    I have a question I’d like to have answered. Partly out of curiosity, and partly desire, will I find a steady relationship sometime in the next few years before I graduate college?

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